Quotes I like:

“Not all those who wander are lost.” -- J.R.R. Tolkien

Thursday, December 10, 2015

7 Reasons to Have Sex--according to a women's magazine

I recently read an article from a women's magazine titled "7 Secret Reasons we have sex with someone".  Since I could only think of one good reason I decided I'd better read the article and gain some insight. I thought perhaps I could be enlightened, but I doubted the article was geared to the, ahem, older generation. Anyway here are the reasons they gave:

1.  You're ovulating.  This would not include me as I stopped doing this quite some time ago, so I can disregard this reason.

2.  His Kisses Taste Weird.  Seriously, this was reason #2.  Supposedly everyone is attracted to their "opposite" in the genetics department and that is why someone else tastes weird. I, for one, will not be having sex with anyone who tastes weird.  I will be heading for the door giving the backward wave described to me by a male friend who had a bad Internet dating experience wherein the lady practically flew away from him at the end of the date and waved back over her shoulder, never looking back, while making headway to her vehicle.

3.  You're on the Pill.  See reason #1. Also doesn't concern me -can skip this one.

4.  He Whispered in your Right Ear.  Evidently women are more receptive to a man whispering in their right ear as opposed to their left ear.  Heck at this point in time any of my ears are the "right" ear. Just give me a try. And be sure to speak loudly enough.

5.  He touched you (anywhere).  Ok this is either very oooogy or weird.  You meet a total stranger who somehow touches you and you follow him to bed?  Are women totally brainless now? 

6.  You are wearing red.  Seems guys are attracted to women in red. Go figure.  Ok, so this one I can use--I will now go out and buy everything I can find in red. Do you think this counts:

7.  And Lastly:  You Got Scared. According to the article if you meet a guy while your heart is racing (like maybe because he is holding a knife to your throat) your brain can be tricked into thinking that you are all hot and bothered instead of plain old terrified.  They recommend that you take a date to horror movie as this will make couples bond better.  Right.

I have now learned that in order to get a man into my bed I simply need to take some extra hormones, dress all in red and chase him around with a knife like Michael Myers in "Halloween". Can't imagine why he wouldn't immediately fall in love with me! Sigh!

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