Quotes I like:

“Not all those who wander are lost.” -- J.R.R. Tolkien

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Brain Fake Cupcake

I HATE scents that smell like food. There is a very simple explanation for this: my brain cannot differentiate between actual food smells and the scent of candles, oils or other "home" scents. Personally, I think there is a conspiracy between the manufactures of scents and bakeries and coffee shops. They are in cahoots to create these enticing fragrances that make us yearn for the actual thing so we will go out and buy some.  This happened to me just yesterday at someones home where they were burning a scented oil called "Cupcake". I had to have a serious discussion with my brain to ignore the diet breaking scent of freshly baked cupcakes piled high with fluffy frosting.  It went something like this (with my brain sounding much like cookie monster):

Brain:  YUM! I smell freshly baked delicious cupcakes!  YUM!

Me:  No, brain, that is not the smell of cupcakes--it is just a pretend smell of cupcakes.

Brain: NO! It is real cupcakes and I am ordering the mouth to start producing saliva so we can eat some cupcakes.

Me:  No, no, no. We are not going to be eating cupcakes. There are no actual cupcakes here! Stop it~!


Me:  Absolutely not. We are not, I repeat, not eating cupcakes!

Brain:  I don't care what you say, I WANT cupcakes.  I will make you get me cupcakes.

Me:  NO! You never listen to me! Every time I say NO to cookies, cupcakes, ice cream -- you insist that we get some. And then when I say we must ride the bike and go to the gym you whine that you don't want to. It isn't fair!!!

Brain:  I am NOT listening to you I don't care what you say. I WANT the cupcakes. Nah, nah, nah, nah--not listening to diet and such. GIVE ME CUPCAKES.

END RESULT: yep, you guessed it---ate delicious cupcakes with wonderful icing. Arrrgggh! I never win.

So, please, if I am coming to visit you, I beg you, don't use scents that make me want to break the diet. It is hard enough as is with a brain that won't listen. Oh, and you probably don't want to use those ones that smell like margaritas or wine or daquiris either because God knows what I might do with those things!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Necklace and Breadbox

This getting older thing really stinks.  Now it seems that I am losing my hearing. Or maybe my ability to multi-task.  I was sitting at the dining table working on the computer with the tv on in the background. Was only partly listening to it as the 'free on demand' movie I had been watching had ended.  You know what it is like when you are only halfway paying attention to something but then you hear something that seems to register but not exactly in the right way?  Well, that's what just happened.  An ad came on for a new movie that could be rented on the cable Pay Per View movies and this is what I heard:

"And it's available at the same time as necklace and breadbox"

I raised my head up from the computer with a confused and quizzical expression thinking "WHAT was that?"
After a second I realized that what the announcer actually had said was: .......same time as Netflix and Red Box.  OMG! Someone get the room ready for me as I am sure I need to go to the home soon!  Good Lord! I am starting to understand my aging parents.