Quotes I like:

“Not all those who wander are lost.” -- J.R.R. Tolkien

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Booty Panties

Padded Panties

I was out shopping today and while passing by the ladies underthings area of the store, noticed a large display of 'specialty' under garments designed to enhance the female form.  Now, I understand push up bras, waist cinchers, torso minimizers and the like, but today I discovered the 'booty panty'.  For those of you unfamiliar with this item, it is like a padded bra for the butt.  WHAT!?!?  Really? Are there women out there who actually think they need a BIGGER butt?  I have spent years, as have a good deal of my friends, worrying that our rear ends are too big.  We have toiled many hard earned hours with Jane Fonda raising our derrieres off the floor and clenching our cheeks (not those on our faces) to try to attain a smaller 'caboose'.    Only to find now that in some twisted, new fangled fad that we should be plumping up our bootys.

I was curious about these things so I stopped to take a look.  These panties look like someone put water balloons into pockets on the back.  I can't imagine wearing these things except maybe when I have to sit for a prolonged time on an uncomfortable seat.  I would worry that being unfamiliar with having a large 'back porch' I would knock things off tables and shelves just walking around.  Some versions of these things are filled with silicone and I really can't imagine having to sit on a big silicone filled seat.  Would one wobble around sitting on a pile of silicone?  List from side to side?  Sounds uncomfortable and weird.

I decided to check into some on-line research and found that there are many manufacturers and sites offering these padded wonders.  Amazingly there were even sites for plus sized women and one for a "do it yourself" padded panty.  Seems everyone is getting into this now.  Who knew?

I only know that I will not be donning these ever.  I am too close to the age where I am afraid that someone might mistake my padded underwear for adult diapers.

'Nuf said.

T. M. I.

WARNING: this post contains adult material which may not be suited for younger readers. Not sure it is appropriate for the older ones either, but I had something to say about "unmentionable" items.  Read at your own risk.
The American people seem to be curious about the intimate details of other people's lives.  Hence, magazines like:  The National Enquirer, Star, People, etc.  and all the ongoing on-line and television "celebrity" stalking shows aka Perez Hilton and Entertainment Tonight.  As far as I am concerned, I do not have a need to know what people are wearing (or not wearing), where they eat, who they associate with and certainly NOT the very intimate details of their lives.  I DO NOT wish to know this information about anyone in fact, including friends and relatives, which brings me to the point of this post.

PLEASE! Folks, I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom or house, just keep it to yourself (selves).  I don't need to know or share, even in the most innocuous way, any detail of your private life.  I am not a prude or right winged conservative, or particularly easily offended, but I just don't care to share!

As I travel around, I often visit relatives and friends.  These visits are never unannounced, so I would think that people could put certain, ahem, things away.  Sorry if I now sound like the "Church Lady" from the days Dana Carvey was on Saturday Night Live, but really, do you think I need to know that you have use of Preparation H????  Is it so hard to put it away in the medicine cabinet?  Hard to ignore when it is sitting on the bathroom counter.  And I'm not talking your personal, master bathroom--I mean the guest bath!  Or maybe you thought I needed it????   Ucky.

Also, to certain people (and you know who you are) I REALLY didn't need to see that container of, um, er, personal lubricant, sitting on the coffee table.  Really.  There are some images which will jump into your (my) mind, which should never show up there in the first place, are horrifying and hard to shake out in the second place. Not to mention that it didn't make that dinner your served me seem all that appetizing.  No offense.

So let's remember that some things are PERSONAL and let's keep them that way.  Thanks.

Carry on. (just keep it to yourselves)