The Mystery of the Missing Cow

I love a good mystery.  I am an avid reader of detective novels so am well versed in sleuthing techniques. This came in handy recently when I arrived home to the farm after a morning of errands.  I got out of the car and noticed a cow flop (pie) in the front yard.  At first I chalked it up to living life on a farm but then I noticed a second one slightly further away in the yard.  Hmmmmm, I thought, the cows live in an enclosed  area (paddock, pasture--whatever you call that place they live); why would cow flop be in the front yard? I made a closer inspection and the "flop" seemed to be fairly fresh.  I have now stepped in enough of them to recognize fresh over others.  Using my years of accumulated knowledge on sleuthing, I decided to check the barn and pasture to see if the cows were still there (very deductive reasoning on my part).  Of the two cows who live on the farm, only one was visible leaving me to conclude that one cow had left. (man--I'm good at this detecting thing).  The next logical step was to figure out where the cow had gone.  I first assumed that the cow could not get out on its own so perhaps the family of the farmers had come and gotten a cow for purposes I could not or, perhaps did not, want to know. I looked around the yard and didn't see a cow so maybe it was taken away.  Maybe it was cattle rustled! 

I made a call to find out whether the cow had been purposely removed only to be informed that no one had come to take the cow away.  I then deduced that the cow had probably not been rustled as most of the other farms around here already have plenty of their own cows and wouldn't need to come and steal this one which left the only other option----the cow had gotten out and wandered off.  OH NO!  I have no idea how to: a) find a lost cow; b) get it back.   Unfortunately I am not fond of westerns so haven't learned any useful knowledge about cow retrieval by reading those novels.

Luckily, following my phone call alerting them, the family sent two relatives to find the cow, which they did - it was in the woods happily eating whatever cows eat in the woods.  The two of them managed to chase it back to the enclosure where I waited with the gate open so the cow could be chased back in.  Who knew that you only had to chase the cow? Of course it did take two of them on either side of the cow as it wanted to wander left or right while being chased rather than be directed back to the proper cow living abode.  I secured the gate behind the cow happy to see it returned with the knowledge that I would not have to encounter any more cow leavings in the yard.  An inspection of the fence showed a place where the cow managed to knock a part down and get out.  This was repaired and now the cows seem to be staying where they belong. Thank goodness. I don't mind doing the detecting but am not sure I can cow chase worth a damn.

Famville For Real

Well I am off the road for a little bit, staying with family helping out during a military deployment. This entry finds me on a small farm in rural America.  Yes, that's right a freaking FARM!  Well 8 acres, 2 cows and 2, no wait one just got killed, 1 chicken. To those of you who exult in playing "Farmville" on Facebook, believe me that is nothing like a REAL FARM!! There's poop on the farm and lots of it.

OK, let me start off by saying that I am NOT in any way, shape or form, a farm girl.  I am akin to Eva
Gabor on Green Acres and Paris Hilton in A Simple Life.  I like to think that the stuff we buy at the supermarket comes that way from some kind of huge factory in an unnamed location.  The idea of getting up close and personal with something I will then be eating is a little unsettling to me. I really can't eat something that has a name. I have to draw the line on that--so the cows are called "cow" as far as I am concerned and no one had better tell me differently!

There is, however, a large garden with lots of vegetables so I am seriously considering becoming a vegetarian. Well, except I will eat fish as I don't have to get to know them first and we don't grow them on the farm.

Recently, I went to the garden armed with a large colander and picked all the ripe tomatoes. Well, not ALL of them as some of them were rotten on the bottom and some of them had bugs in them.  Sheesh! This farming thing isn't so easy after all!  Wound up with a fairly large haul of tomatoes. So, today I will can some tomatoes as we are overrun with them from the garden. Yes, that's right--I am going to CAN! Ha this is something I can do as canning tomatoes is easy as pie (of course I stink at pie making, but then again...).

I have everything assembled for canning--jars, lids, lots of hot water, lots of tomatoes.  I am feeling very "back to nature" and reliving those hippie days in the 70's when we were going to all live off the land and be free from "the man".  Guess that isn't so popular these days as life without cable tv, the internet and air conditioning doesn't sound that fun to many folks--well maybe those who are living in the militias, but they are already a little off in my opinion.

After I can the tomatoes, I will go feed the cows and check the chicken.  Of course feeding the cows consists of making sure they are not in the barn when I go there because, really, they scare me a little and I peek in at the chicken to see if it is still alive. See - I am getting this farming thing down!